Should a woman take the man’s name when getting married?
I want to ask you that today because of an email that came into the show.
A man called John wrote the following
“Hi Niall, love the show. Can you and your listener’s help with something that is brewing between me and my fiancée.
I’m marrying my school sweetheart. We’ve been together almost 10 years. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened in my life and I know we’ll be happy together.
She’s become successful in her marketing job and I know when the time comes she will be a fantastic mother. There’s just one problem that is causing a problem between my family and my fiancée – She’s refusing to take my surname when we get married.
She says that it’s 2017 and women are not taking their partner’s names anymore. She has said before jokingly that being forced to take your partner’s name is almost like saying that she is my property.
My parents on the other hand are furious! My Dad said that we need to insure our family name is never lost. I’m their only son so my father says it’s my responsibility to ensure that family tree continues. He is adamant of this and says that if my fiancée really loved me then this would not be an issue for her.
My mates are slagging me off saying that my fiancée wears the pants in our relationship, and while I laugh along with them it’s beginning to make me feel that I should stand up and say something to her.
Am I being unreasonable in asking my future wife to take my name when we get married? I’d love to hear what your listeners have to say?”
What do you think of this email? Is this man wrong to want his fiancé to take his name? Or is that a little draconian?
Some in the office said “Why bother getting married if you don’t want to take your partner’s name? Just to do a civil partnership.
The tradition of taking your husband’s name is centuries old – so is it time that we questioned this practice? OR has the feminist movement gone so far that they want to remove all traces of the man in a marriage?
So today I want to ask you – Is it insulting for a woman to refuse to take her husband’s name in marriage?